Soulmates: Fact, Fantasy, or Fiction?

Do I believe in a soulmate?
No.
I think that’s silly, and those who do believe it suffer from a perpetual state of naïveté.
I think it’s dangerous to believe in just one person.
I mean, holy crap, that’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself. One person? In this entire world? Yikes.

If there is just one person, I worry:

1.) How the HELL am I supposed to find this person, this one person?
(People who have strong religious beliefs would probably answer this with, “Live your life according to God, live by his purpose, lead a good life…and love will come to you.” Many of these people often marry too early, live too optimistically, and then stay in bad marriages while feigning a smile on the outside to their neighbors in Pleasantville.)
2) What happens if he or she dies?
What, then I’m just shit out of luck – and love – for the rest of my life?

No.
No, I don’t believe in one, single soulmate.
But…
Do I believe in soulmates (plural) ?
You bet I do.

See, here’s the thing:
I can probably find love everywhere.
I could stay in Minnesota my whole life and fall in love.
I could study abroad for a year in Japan, and find love.
I could move to beaches of Cali, a ski village in Colorado, an apartment in Manhattan…
and guess what, more than likely, I will find – and fall in – love.

I could find love, marry, divorce, remarry, have my spouse die…and find love all over again, at age 75. Crazy? Not really. It happens all the time.

I might have met one or two of my soulmates already. In fact, I’m pretty sure I have. I’m almost 100% positive I have.

So, who is a soulmate?
And how many do each of us get?
It’s hard to say.
However, this is what I believe:

I believe there is a small, finite number of people you can potentially meet in this world that you connect with on all levels – sexually, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually.

We date people all the time, and they may fit with us on one, two, even three of these levels. But if all levels aren’t in sync, then it’s not quite a soulmate.

Often times, we let an overabundance of one of these domains replace another domain.

For example, a man, or woman, who’s extremely attractive and sexually arousing may cause us to turn a blind eye, or ignore, the fact that we have clashing beliefs on spirituality. We might ignore the fact that he or she doesn’t carry a good, stimulating conversation and just let “the sex do the talking.”

We might find a man or woman whose intellect provides for many a stimulating conversation, and ignore the fact that we do not get butterflies when he or she kisses our lips or looks into our eyes.

You will date these people.
You might even love these people. But they are not one of your soulmates.

A soulmate fulfills all of these categories.

A soulmate is someone:
- you find very attractive, both physically and sexually
- whose sense of humor matches yours; who makes you smile and laugh
- who understands you and cares for your emotional well-being
- whose spiritual beliefs closely match yours
- who you can talk to day after day, and always come up with new, interesting, exciting things to talk about

There’s no guarantee that you will find all – or any – of your soulmates.
You might find ten of them - or you may never find one.
But they are out there.
And soulmates aren’t always the ones you end up marrying.
They might not even be available.
They might already be married.
They might be still heartbroken over a past lover.
They might even die the day before you would ever get to meet them.

But…they exist.
And as long as this planet has millions of people, with millions of personalities…
Soulmates will continue to exist.

Perhaps Dawson said it best:
(yes, Dawson from Dawson’s Creek…hey, don’t you dare snicker until you read the damn quote! :) )

Lilly: What's a soulmate?
Dawson: It's a…well, it's like a best friend, but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you laugh, who makes you a better person, well, actually they don't make you a better person... you do that yourself-- because they inspire you. It's the one person who knew you, accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did, or when no one else would. And no matter what happens...you'll always love them.